charlie and bye

 

charlie's birth was the roughest of the three. being 9 days overdue (four more than ruthie, 22 more than eve), and the heaviest by one ounce might have had something to do with it, but i'm fairly certain that there were three other factors that made this one closer to what i hear the mainstream experiences of childbirth are. (i've been quoted as saying that childbirth- the actual process of natural childbirth, not just the result- is "glorious" and i've meant it, but not with this one. this one was just hard).

and here are the three reasons why:

#1: the boy was posterior. what you hear is true; back labor is no fun at all. i generally do not like being touched while in labor but other than getting the baby out, there is nothing i wanted more than someone to repeatedly hammer me in the back with a mallot and relieve the pain.  

#2: because i was so overdue i wasn't able to deliver in the birthing center where the two girls were born. the birthing center is heaven. a cozy heaven where chip, my midwife, one nurse and quiet are the only things i am aware of as i labor, deliver, recover and stare at my new baby. . . instead it was the regular labor and delivery floor for me. no jacuzzi tub. no queen size bed. no friendly watercolors of flowers hiding the tubes and medical equipment in the wall, no feeling of complete seclusion. just a fetal monitor that had to be kept on the entire time, five feet to pace between bed and chair and florescent lights (which didn't do me any favors for the post-birth photographs, either). . . also, shared recovery rooms aren't ideal; sometimes getting glimpses into strangers' personal relationships is really uncomfortable. 

#3: this, i've decided is the big reason charlie's birth was the roughest- the clock. there was a digital clock on the wall and i could not avoid looking at. the minutes ticked away, reminding me how long i had been in labor, reminding me how long i had been in the hospital, reminding me that as each intense minute ticked away i had no idea how many more were ahead. that clock made my attempt to stay focused on the miraculous process and not give in to the frustration and exhaustion much more difficult than usual. if there is a next time, the first thing i will do is cover up any and all clocks in the room. i'm not interested in being taunted like that again. i'm interested in being blissfully ignorant to the passing time as i focus and cope and my body works.

so, next time (again, if there is one) here's hoping for a timely arrival free of back labor and clocks. but really, these small complaints aside, i have never been more aware of how incredibly blessed we are and how incredible new life is.

since the evening we returned home with our newly complete family we've pretty much spent our days staring at this little guy. seriously, he's so great. i love few things in life more than brand new baby chicken legs. and now that his umbilical cord fell off, the girls are fully in love. a ton of staring, a ton of kissing a ton of "charlie's so cuuuute!"

but, we have some sad news too. as of last night our fish of more than a year- "bye"- is dead. at the end of a tragic day for eve (having to share the unicorn AND eat all of her quiche) i was trying to console her when i caught a glimpse of obviously dead fish and blurted out "dang it. bye's dead." smooth, mom. poor eve; head thrown into the pillow, sobbing screams, desperate clings to her insensitive mother. promises of fish heaven and a replacement finally dried up the tears and we were all able to go to sleep peacefully. kind of. dead fish are creepy. oh, and the cause of death? starvation. little baby came to town and fish was totally neglected. sorry bye. i can't decide who had the worst death; bye or our first fish who died of exposure (the heat in our building went out for several days during the coldest snap in winter didn't work out so well for the betta). . . 

here's the new guy. name: "goo flu" which eve informs me is "the most beautiful name." who am i to argue? welcome goo flu, here's hoping you make it past 14 months with us. history is not in your favor. 

+++

and thank you to all of your for your kind comments here! if i weren't so lazy or wrapped up in staring at charlie i'd love to get back to each of you individually. but, i am lazy and charlie is freakin' beautiful so a group "thanks!" is the best i can do for now.

Comments

[Tania]

Congratulations to the whole beautiful family! He is just darling.

When I had Emily, I had them take the clock off the wall. I was planning on my labor with her being less than the 12 1/2 hours of Rebekah's (it was - it was 8.) I knew though, that if I went past that 12 1/2 hour mark I would despair - so I had them take it down. Not one of those things you think of ahead of time ...

We're off the for rest of the summer - but we'd love to meet Charlie in person when we get back. Congratulations again - he really is a very beautiful baby.

[sara]

beautiful baby! your kids are so big. has it really been that long since i've seen them?

we need to get to brooklyn more often. or you need to come up here!

[Fiona]

Well done you... your Charlie is a fine specimen! Your ramblings crack me up - they're very familiar to me only I could never so eloquently describe the complexities of our days at home with little people. Trying to create & blog just adds another challenge (in your daughters words "mean computer girl"). I too have had 2 dream births with my babies and considering going there again soon.....so thanks for the clock tip!
Sorry about my wordy comment ;)